You just don't get it
by schafferius
Summary: Read it and see, Tension between the 2 sisters and Scotty over an incident that happens.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I did then I wouldnt be sitting in some Aussie country town called Toowoomba sweating my frigin arse off in 45 degree celcius heat now would I. Anyway, hope the cold is nice, you lucky europeans and americans.

CHAPTER ONE

The available light in the office began to dim. It seemed to those detectives left at the end of the day, that the day was coming to an end. It was nearly 6:30 pm and those left included stillman, Jeffries, vera, rush and valens. Stillman grabbed his coat and headed for the door, saying his goodnight's to the remaining detectives. The case they were working on involved a 45 year old pensioner, accidently murdered in a hit and run, it had been solved, with only the paperwork remaining. By 7:00pm, all paperwork was completed and the detectives said there goodbye's , all heading off home for a good nights sleep.

Stillman arrived early the next day to find Lily yelled down the end of her phone to an anonymous source.

"No……How many times do I have to tell you. I am NOT going. Stop asking me. My reason for not attending is none of your damn business", shouted Lily as she slammed down the phone.

She swung around in her chair to grab a cup of coffee from the lunch room, only to find Stillman staring at her with a confused look on his face.

"Everything all right, Lil?", he asked, with a concerned look on his face.

"Everything is fine.", she stated coldly and headed towards the break room in a huff.

By 8:30am the rest of the cold crew had arrived. Stillman popped his head outside his office, calling them all in.

It seemed as though they had all had a good night's sleep previously as they responded almost immediately.

"Good to see everyone is here early and ready to go."

Stillman was met with looks that suggested otherwise.

" It seems that the homicide guys have a lot on their plate at the moment and have requested some extra hands. Vera and Jeffries, seeing as you two worked in that area for some time, I would appreciate it if you could help them out", Stillman stated.

Both Vera and Jeffries were only too happy to oblige, leaving Rush and Valens with Stillman.

"Rush and Valens, I want you two to stick back here and complete the paperwork left on the Ferris case. I know we have been busy lately, but this case was solved over a month ago and the paperwork needs to be completed".

The four hours before lunch saw Rush and Valens completing the menial task of finishing up the remaining paperwork

At midday a call came through on Rush's phone.

Scotty heard the apologetic tone Lily seemed to be taking on the other end of the line.

"I am sorry", she stated, "I just donot want to talk about the matter any further…………………Lunch? Yeah ok, where were you thinking? Peter's café sounds fine. See you there shortly".

With that she picked up her coat and headed out the door, not noticing the expression on her partner's face.

CHAPTER TWO

The rain was pouring down as it usually did this time of year in Philly. Lily Rush was walking as fast as she could in order to keep herself warmer and get to her destination a little quicker. Truth was, she wasn't hungry at all. But the whole morning she was racked with guilt over how she had spoken to her younger sister on the phone earlier on in the morning.

As she approached Pete's café, she saw Christina sitting just inside the door's entrance, rubbing her hands. Lily understood it to be a sign of nervousness.

"Hi", she stated, sitting down on the seat across from Chris.

"Hi" Christina replied, her eyes red from the tears she had obviously been spilling.

Lunch was filled with a cold silence, followed by random chit chat. They finished their meals, paid the bill and Chris offered to walk Lily back to work. Lily accepted the gesture and they walked to the office just as quick as Lily had left it.

Christina stopped just outside the precinct doors. "Look Lil, I invited you to lunch in the hope of trying to convince you to do the right thing".

Lily turned around a dissatisfied look on her face "I told you to drop it, leave me be".

She turned around, heading towards the entry to her office, not waiting for a reply.

"I can't Lil. This should be important to you. This IS important". Christina stated as she followed in close pursuit.

Just inside the office doors, Lily stopped. Turning to her sister and saying in the quietest voice "You just don't get it do you. I don't need to explain myself to you or anyone for that matter. So for the last time LEAVE ME BE".

Lily walked off, heading towards the lunch room, when her sister became hysterical, yelling … "I don't get it? You're the one who doesn't get it Lily. Our mother is dead. Dead. She aint coming back Lily. Don't you get THAT? You have to learn to forgive and forget……".

By this point it had become obvious to Christina that she was not going to get a reaction. Not only that, but the entire division had stopped work to look at the hysterical lady at the front doors. And with that she left.

Lily felt both relieved that her sister had left and embarrassed at the same time. Why was it that wherever she went, her whole life, her sister had to make things hard for her. She had kept her personal life separate from her work life better than any cop ever had. And yet now it seemed that everyone knew what was going on, including those not so close to her. Damn that girl.

"Lil, the boss wants you in his office. Right now, he says", Scotty said, interrupting her many thoughts.

"Yeah okay"

"You okay?", he asked looking concerned.

"Yeah I'm just dandy Valens", she replied coldly, heading for Stillman's office.

CHAPTER THREE

"Lil, take a seat", Stillman motioned towards the chair across from his desk.

"Thankyou, sir", Lily replied.

"I am sure you know what this is in regards to…."

Lily lowered her head, nodding slowly "Yes, sir".

"Then is there anything you would like to discuss?"

Lily thought to herself for a moment. How could she describe to her boss something she couldn't even describe to her own sister, who had been there through it all.

After a long pause, she replied " No Sir, there isn't".

Stillman sensed that Lil was battling with her own demons, and therefore did not push the subject any further. Her partner, on the other hand, was a different story.

"Lil, I am sorry to hear about your mum", Scotty said, looking into her eyes, waiting for hers to match his. But they didn't.

"Stop it", she replied "Just stop it".

Instead of heading towards her desk, as she intended, she headed straight towards the break room.

Scotty rose from his chair and began to follow , forgetting all about the new case that had come through since lunch.

"Lil, talk to me, please", he stated.

The look in his eyes were of desperation. At that moment she took pity on him.Why was he so desperate to know the going-ons in her life?

Pity turned to anger as she stated "What are you so interested for Valens? Not much going on in your life at the moment? Think you need to delve into mine?"

The expression on Scotty's face was of pure shock and pain.

The truth was, Lily Rush did not know how to deal with confrontation of this sort. People caring for her. People wanting to know details. If anyone was the sort to not give information on themselves, it was her. She did not understand what caring was and always saw an alteria motive to concern. Not being able to understand something turned to anger for Lily.

"You know what Valens….you are just like Christina, no wonder you two got on so well while together", she stated, as Jeffries, who had been in the break room quickly exited.

"What?" Scotty stated, looking even more hurt.

"You know what I am talking about. You just wont let a person keep things to themselves. You want to pester them and pester them until they give in to you. When I say leave me alone. I mean LEAVE me alone", and with that, she left.

It was something that had never happened before, Lily Rush left work at 2:30pm. No goodbye's to anyone. She could not handle the pressure placed upon her by anyone, anymore.

CHAPTER FOUR

The funeral had been arranged for 5pm that day. She had died of liver poisoning. "Surprise, surprise" most people had thought. Not that there were a lot of people who were planning on attending. She had hurt a lot of people in her time. At 3pm , Scotty answered the phone to a sobbing Christina.

"I just don't know if I can handle it alone", she cried.

"I am truly sorry for what I have done to you. I really am.", Christina's voice sounded sincere.

"What is it that you want exactly Christina", Scotty was trying not to sound too harse, considering the current circumstances.

"I……I just….I guess I am asking for some support. I need someone there. Someone I trust and can be close to………………Would you come…………please?".

Scotty thought about it for a while. Not knowing what to say. Sudddenly, his mind traced back to Elyssa. He thought of how he had felt. He had had no-one. Feeling all alone, with no-one's shoulder to cry on. Several months later, however, the support had come from Christina.

"Sure. When is it?", he asked.

" At 5 today", she replied.

"Okay, I will see you then. Bye".

"Bye", she answered.

Scotty had received permission from Stillman to attend. His thoughts returned to Lily. What had made her so set on not going? Why had she not had the feelings a child has for a parent when they pass?

And with those final thoughts he had grabbed his things, heading home to get ready for his partner's mothers funeral.

CHAPTER FIVE

Once again the rain was pouring down on the streets of Philly just outside Scotty's apartment. He sat by his door waiting for his ride from Christina. A million thoughts were running through his head. Thoughts of the girls' poor mother, struck down in her 50's, thoughts of how Chris must be feeling. With that his attention turned towards Lily. What must she be thinking, he thought. His partner was an odd sort at times.

At that moment a green station wagon pulled up, with Christina signaling for him to get in.

"Cold isn't it?", She stated more than asked.

"Yeah", he replied.

"Look Scotty, I just wanna thank you for doing this for me. After everything that I…….."

"Please don't. I would rather not go into it Chris", he interrupted her.

"Oh, okay", she replied, still feeling the guilt of having betrayed his trust.

They headed towards West Philly cemetery in silence. Both lost in their own thoughts.

Upon arrival, Scotty could not help but notice the lack of people. A priest standing there in the pouring rain, accompanied by two others. Christina grabbed Scotty's hand as they walked towards them.

" We may now begin?", he questioned Christina.

"Yes", Christina stated shyly.

Scotty noticed how odd it was that Christina had not provided greetings to the other people attending, but decided not to question her.

The funeral commenced, and all Scotty could think about was Elyssa. How she had made him feel alive. Made him feel loved, like he was worth something. She had challenged him in a way that no cone else could…………….. Well maybe not anyone. ……………

Why had she left him, he thought. They had their problems, he knew.

Scotty was pulled from his own emotional thoughts by the odd tone taken by the family's priest.

"Christina my child, will your sister be joining us?", he motioned towards a silver sedan parked a few hundred metres away.

Is that Lily, Scotty thought. Indeed, it was. He could see both hurt and pain in her eyes and could not help but feel partly responsible.

The car droveoff with Lily inside.

"Ah……….no Father…..I donot believe she will be joining us", Christina replied.

The priest continued with the service. Scotty was left to his own thoughts as Christina cried away the pain of her mother dieing, never to return.

CHAPTER SIX

There was to be no wake for Christina and Lily's mother. Christina resided in a hotel while staying in Philly. Her sister had not attended, and she had not ever met those two people who had attended the funeral. A wake seemed pointless. It was not as though Scotty had known her mother either.

"Thank you for coming, Scotty….", she looked up into his eyes attempting to show how genuine her comment had been.

"It was the least I could do, considering the comfort you gave me while dealing with Elyssa's death", he replied, returning her gaze.

Scotty noticed that suddenly Christina's expression had changed from that of mournful to nervy.

"Would……aaahheemm", she cleared her throat, "Would you mind if I spent some time at your house. I just feel like the company".

"Yeah, no that is fine", Scotty replied innocently.

Christina smiled in return, heading for her car.

It was like he was back there again. Driving home from Elyssa's funeral. There hadn't been many people there either. The pain he had felt over Elyssa's death had overtaken that pain he felt over Christina's treatment towards him.

They arrived at Scotty's house twenty minutes after they had left the cemetery, stopping only to pick up a bottle of scotch, upon Christina's request. Scotty understood. It was the same thing he had done after Elyssa's death. It was far easier to drink the pain away.

How else could you get rid of it, he thought.

Christina took a seat on his couch as Scotty poured the drinks.

"Not much has changed around here, since I have been gone", she stated.

"Ahhh………..no……… no it hasn't", he replied, handing her the scotch and taking a seat next to her.

Maybe it was the scotch, maybe it was the long uncomfortable pause, maybe it was the pain of her mothers death. Or maybe it was just the hurt Christina felt over her sister not attending their mothers funeral, but after a while Christina started

"You know when Lil was 10 she told Social Security all about our mother. Bunch of lies if u ask me………………………and mum if you could", sniffling back a tear,

"Told 'em she was forced to go to the shops to buy her alcohol all the time. Told 'em she was not herself. Drunk all the time. Nearly ruined our mother. Mum told me that Lil thought she was better than us. Never saw her again till she was sixteen."

She continued "That's why I just don't get why she didn't even come to the funeral. Just sat there in here car. I reckon she feels guilty, and so she should. Rotten little cow".

Christina noticed Scotty looked deep in thought and asked "Hey, you, your very quiet. Whats going on?".

"Christina. Today at the funeral, all I could think about was Elyssa. It just brought back so many bad memories. I just kept thinking about……………".

"Shhhh….", she replied, putting her finger to his lips. "Don't talk".

Christina lay her glass down on the table. She pushed Scotty back, straddling him on the couch, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

She began kissing his neck softly, moaning at the same time.

Scotty didn't know what to think. He didn't want this. He wanted to talk. He NEEDED to talk.

"No Christina", he stated pushing her off him.

He continued "Look I understand what happened today may be clouding your judgment. This………sex I mean, is not the way I want to deal with it. Once upon a time, yes it was good for me and I thank you……again. But I just can't do this".

He lay down his glass, grabbed his coat and headed out the front door, not sure where he was heading. All he wanted was to be outside feeling the cool breeze upon his face.

CHAPTER SEVEN

He didn't know how long he had been walking for. Hours maybe. He didn't even notice how cold it had gotten. The sun had been down for a while now. Not that it made any difference to the weather in Philly when it was up.

Suddenly slapping back to reality, he noticed he had walked straight to West Philly cemetery, where both Elyssa and the girls mother had been buried. He decided to enter. He needed to talk to Elyssa, tell her how she really made him feel when she had decided to leave him so suddenly. Finding her grave, he stood there pouring out his heart to her.

"Why did you leave me? What a life we could have had. My life is not the same anymore. Nor will it ever be Elyssa. I gave you my heart and you stood on it", he stated, with both anger and pain in his voice. He continued for over an hour, finally pulling himself together, and heading towards the cemetery gates.

Just a few steps from the exit, he noticed quiet whimpering. Turning around he noticed a figure kneeling at the foot of the grave he had attended earlier. A female figure, he realized. Head in her hands.

Is that? No……….It can't be……., he thought. But it was. Lily sobbing at her mothers grave. He walked closer, slowly. Stopping just within earshot.

"Why did you do this to me? Even after death you ruin my life. I was just a child and have been haunted by the guilt you have placed upon me since then. And now to carry this on, you have left my sister. ".Lily's voice was of anguish.

Scotty decided to leave. She had been right earlier. He should let her be with her own pain.

He returned to find his apartment empty. Except for a note, left by his previous guest.

"Your partner called. Don't think she is too happy with us Scotty. The message is still on your machine. What are we going to do? Call me when you can. You know where I am staying", it read.

"Enough", he thought. "WE are not going to do anything. I on the other hand am. I have to do something. This is all wrong".

The message on the machine was bitter. Lily sounded as though she had had a few scotches herself. Quite possibly, a few too many.

"I just want to know why Scotty. Why would you do it. You figure your partner wasn't going to tell you, so you'd find out for yourself, huh. Great Mr Detective Valens. Well I hope you got what you needed to know. Hope Christina satisfied your urges, in more ways than one", the phone seemed as though it was dropped on the other end, followed by some fumbling and was hung up.

Scotty checked the time of the message. It had obviously been sent before she had left for the cemetery. He started to worry. She shouldn't be out on her own in that state of mind. He grabbed his coat and headed for his door, not knowing how he would be received when he arrived at hers.

CHAPTER EIGHT

He had stayed there sitting on her step for what felt like an eternity. He just couldn't get the will to knock on her door.

Finally it opened, Scotty turned around to see Lily walk straight into him.

"Ow….what the…Scotty….what the hell are you doing here?", she asked surprised and angry.

"I….ah…..I came to see how you were. You left work so suddenly and……."

Lily turned back to her door and slammed it.

That went well he thought. No turning back now. He knocked on her door, with no answer. "Look Lil, truth is I didn't come around for you. It's not that I don't care. I…..I just need someone to talk to about Elyssa. You are the closest thing I have to a friend".

"A friend? A friend? If you treat your friends like you have today, I would hate to see how you treat your enemy's Valens".

"Lil"

"Why did you do it? Why did you go? You bastard…..", she cried, hitting him with closed fists.

Scotty grabbed her hands, picked her up and walked her inside, Lily still fighting hard.

He pushed her not too softly, but not too forcefully against the wall. "Lil, snap out of it, would you", he could smell the scotch on her quite strong.

"With my sister of all people", she glared.

"Is that what this is about? Me being there with her?", he asked.

"I didn't say that", she replied, defensively.

"It is isn't it?"

She closed her eyes and pursed her lips together. Trying to run inside herself.

"You've got nothing on her Lil. Why do you think I'm here?"

"That's a bloody good question Scotty. Why are you here?"

Still holding her hands to the wall, he lay his lips upon hers, just briefly. He pulled away to see a shocked expression on her face.

"Because you're here Lily".

"Get out. Now" she replied.

"I'm sorry for doing that. Please let me stay. If only for a little while. No more of that I promise".

Lily eyed him suspiciously.

"I'm going for a shower. Sober up a little".

And sober up she did. What was he thinking, she thought. After the day they had had. After how he had treated her. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, however. It seemed he had still not been able to get past Elyssa.

Why is it that men never chose the right opportunity for things. He must've known how she felt about him. He had caught her staring at him on more than one occasion, and he at her.

Lily could handle playing the mother figure. What she couldn't handle was playing the helpless child. The need to help her friend overtook the hurt caused by him earlier in the day. Scotty knew this. He knew that she would always be there to comfort him, but was hoping that it would somehow lead to her opening up. He would not push, and risk ruining everything.

CHAPTER NINE

Lily returned from her shower feeling much more refreshed. She headed to the kitchen and turned on the kettle. Scotty could see she was swaying from side to side. It was obvious she had had too much to drink, and the shower had not done wonders. He felt even worse for trying such a tactless move on her. Though to him, it had meant much more.

"Here Lil, let me do it", he stated.

"Okay".

After the coffee was poured they took a seat on her couch. No eye contact was made between the two. A long pause ensued.

"Why Scotty?", Lily asked softly, "Why did you go?"

"Your sister asked me. Said she needed the support. I just couldn't say no. Elyssa……………When Elyssa died, I felt so alone. Thoughts running through my head. Hoping it was murder, cause then that would mean that she didn't leave me on purpose. But also not hoping because the experience would have been terrible. …………………How does a person get over something like this Lil? It has been so long".

"I don't know Scotty. I never have had to deal with the pain of losing a loved one", she realized what she had said, and looked to the ceiling.

"I just……feel so ashamed. I should have been there. Been there to save her".

"Oh Scotty. You can't save everyone. People are people. If they want something enough they will find their own time to do it. You couldn't always be there".

"I could've tried Lil", he stated as he lay his head in his arms.

"Come here", she pulled him close to her. Wrapping her arms around him. "It's going to be okay Scotty. It's just going to take some time".

"What brought all this about?", she asked.

"I think it was your mum's funeral today. It just brought it all….", he stopped realizing what he had said.

He saw the same pained expression on Lily's face as he had seen the day that George had commented on her sex life on the phone. A wincing expression, her seemingly trying to push it from her thoughts.

"Sorry Lil"

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter", she replied, "So why did you come here?"

"Because you're the closest thing I have to a confidant".

He continued "And because your sister came onto me.", looking up at her.

"Right. I figured as much. Same thing she did to Patrick when we were having problems and he went crying to her".

She realized what she had said, looking up to the ceiling once again.

"Who's Patrick?", Scotty asked.

"Ahh…no-one…., so what did you do?"

"I left.", he stated, "It's not what I want anymore".

"And what is it that you want?", she questioned.

"I want the support and company of a person who cares for me", he stated shyly, eyeing her reaction.

At this point they both felt uncomfortable. Not wanting to look into each others eyes. Compliments were not taken well by either of them.

"Look Scotty. I am sorry for the message I left on your machine. I made assumptions and by now I should know that that is something I shouldn't do".

"It's okay. To tell you the truth it was exactly what the doctor ordered. My loyalty lies with you Lil. I know it hasn't always. But it does now".

"Thanks". Lily felt as if her treatment of Scotty that day had been quite poor on her behalf.

"Scotty. …?...I don't want to go into it too deeply. But I have my reasons for not going today. My mum didn't mean to do the things she made me do when I was younger. But on the other hand, she didn't sort out her problems either. I don't want to be like that.". Scotty could hear the tears building up in her voice.

"I don't want to turn to the bottle to sort my problems out. But talking about them is so very hard for me. It really is".

Scotty replied "You would be surprised. But I do understand Lil. I really do.I am not going to push you to talk about anything. I am already so very sorry for doing it today. You tell me when you are ready. And I the same".

She nodded "Of course". With that she lay her head down on his shoulder, feeling the warmth emanating from his body. It was comforting.

Both were so tired from the long day each had had. Before too long, both were asleep, lost in their own dream world. A world were all was okay.


End file.
